Dawnficathon!!!
Dec. 20th, 2003 12:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
essene_backupSleepy. Going to bed. Posting now so I can sleep in worry free tomorrow.
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for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fox1013
Title: Whole Cloth
Pairing: Faith & Dawn (friendship)
Rating: PG
Setting: Just after Chosen
Author’s Notes: kisses tosoundingsea and moosesal for their beta work
**********
Faith watched Dawn conceal her emotion. And in a place where emotion was running high, few noticed, but Faith did. She’d felt that particular struggle herself: the pain and anguish that threatened to absorb her entire being, become her, wear her body as a skin. In her case, it did wear her for while; got the better of her. When it finally left, there was one hell of a mess to clean up.
They were so different, these sisters. One of them commanding, demanding, sometimes brittle, only occasionally showing anything but unyielding control. The other shaky, uncertain, tentative, strength only coming to the fore when impassioned. It was this sister that fascinated Faith, this one that had come from the other.
She hadn’t known her as long as her memories wanted to tell her she did. She knew that the time when she took her to the movies and they had ice cream and then went to the arcade was nothing but fiction from whole cloth. She knew with absolute certainty Dawn’s shiny brunette hair had never gotten tangled in one of Faith’s many zippers, making them a comedic farce of epic proportion. But knowing that, and feeling the weight of emotion and the connection with those false memories were two different things.
Faith extricated herself from Robin’s arms and made her way to the front of the bus where Dawn sat, shining head turned to watch the flowing landscape.
“Mind if I sit?” Faith asked.
Hair fell in silken streams as Dawn slowly rolled her head to face the husky voice.
Blinking slowly, she answered, “Go ahead.”
They sat together quietly for a while. Faith letting Dawn get used to her presence. She’d learned that in prison. Don’t just jump right in and assume that people are gonna deal. Ease in, let them adjust, less chance of a shank in your throat.
Dusk was settling, and Faith felt the subtle change come over the girl. A heavy, engulfing sadness. Turning, she watched tears make their way down sooty cheeks, leaving trails of soft pink in their wake.
“Miss it, don’t you?”
Shining, liquid eyes turned to fix on her.
“Knowing that there’s something to go home to. Someplace that is home.”
A slow, shivering nod sent more tears sliding down.
“I used to think I didn’t have anywhere to call home.” A chagrined smile crossed the elder girl’s face. “After six months staring at cinderblock walls, listening to my bunkmate chew her fingernails, I knew different.”
“Sunnydale was home.” She watched Dawn’s widen in disbelief. “The only place I was happy. Felt…accepted. Loved even.”
That statement brought a shaky whisper from the teen, “But he…he was…evil.”
“I know. But he loved me, in his own way. It was the first time I’d ever felt that. And then, suddenly it was gone.”
Dawn turned her face away to stare at the winding patterns in the green vinyl in front of her. “It’s all gone.”
Faith sat quietly, waiting for the rest.
“Not just the school, but all of it. Our house. Pictures, their graves, him, my journals, Mr. Monkeybottoms.” Her voice cracked a bit on that last leaving Faith to puzzle it out. A brief flash of Dawn tearing through the house, a loose and floppy form dangling from her fingers gave her insight. Ahhh, Monkeybottoms, the sock-monkey she toted around everywhere.
Silence fell over them again as Faith waited to see if there was anything more.
“It’s all gone. Like it never existed. I can never go back.”
“No. No you can’t.” Dawn’s face jerked to hers, almost angry this time, angry and confused.
“But that’s okay. You have what’s important. You’ve got your memories. You’ve got the people that love you. You can start again.” Faith reached out a hand and took the long, slim fingers in her own, ”And it’ll be better this time, you can shape it, instead of letting it shape you.”
Dawn scanned her face for a while and then squeezed Faith’s hand. “I’ll still miss it.”
“No one said you wouldn’t. But it’ll get better, not easier, but better.”
“Thank you.”
“No prob.”
They sat together, fingers entwined until Giles stopped the bus at a truck stop.
Faith stood, giving her hand a final squeeze, and then made her way back to Robin to help him off the bus. She smiled when she heard Dawn answer Xander’s question of how she was holding up.
“Five by five.”
________________________________________
for
fox1013Title: Whole Cloth
Pairing: Faith & Dawn (friendship)
Rating: PG
Setting: Just after Chosen
Author’s Notes: kisses to
soundingsea and moosesal for their beta work**********
Faith watched Dawn conceal her emotion. And in a place where emotion was running high, few noticed, but Faith did. She’d felt that particular struggle herself: the pain and anguish that threatened to absorb her entire being, become her, wear her body as a skin. In her case, it did wear her for while; got the better of her. When it finally left, there was one hell of a mess to clean up.
They were so different, these sisters. One of them commanding, demanding, sometimes brittle, only occasionally showing anything but unyielding control. The other shaky, uncertain, tentative, strength only coming to the fore when impassioned. It was this sister that fascinated Faith, this one that had come from the other.
She hadn’t known her as long as her memories wanted to tell her she did. She knew that the time when she took her to the movies and they had ice cream and then went to the arcade was nothing but fiction from whole cloth. She knew with absolute certainty Dawn’s shiny brunette hair had never gotten tangled in one of Faith’s many zippers, making them a comedic farce of epic proportion. But knowing that, and feeling the weight of emotion and the connection with those false memories were two different things.
Faith extricated herself from Robin’s arms and made her way to the front of the bus where Dawn sat, shining head turned to watch the flowing landscape.
“Mind if I sit?” Faith asked.
Hair fell in silken streams as Dawn slowly rolled her head to face the husky voice.
Blinking slowly, she answered, “Go ahead.”
They sat together quietly for a while. Faith letting Dawn get used to her presence. She’d learned that in prison. Don’t just jump right in and assume that people are gonna deal. Ease in, let them adjust, less chance of a shank in your throat.
Dusk was settling, and Faith felt the subtle change come over the girl. A heavy, engulfing sadness. Turning, she watched tears make their way down sooty cheeks, leaving trails of soft pink in their wake.
“Miss it, don’t you?”
Shining, liquid eyes turned to fix on her.
“Knowing that there’s something to go home to. Someplace that is home.”
A slow, shivering nod sent more tears sliding down.
“I used to think I didn’t have anywhere to call home.” A chagrined smile crossed the elder girl’s face. “After six months staring at cinderblock walls, listening to my bunkmate chew her fingernails, I knew different.”
“Sunnydale was home.” She watched Dawn’s widen in disbelief. “The only place I was happy. Felt…accepted. Loved even.”
That statement brought a shaky whisper from the teen, “But he…he was…evil.”
“I know. But he loved me, in his own way. It was the first time I’d ever felt that. And then, suddenly it was gone.”
Dawn turned her face away to stare at the winding patterns in the green vinyl in front of her. “It’s all gone.”
Faith sat quietly, waiting for the rest.
“Not just the school, but all of it. Our house. Pictures, their graves, him, my journals, Mr. Monkeybottoms.” Her voice cracked a bit on that last leaving Faith to puzzle it out. A brief flash of Dawn tearing through the house, a loose and floppy form dangling from her fingers gave her insight. Ahhh, Monkeybottoms, the sock-monkey she toted around everywhere.
Silence fell over them again as Faith waited to see if there was anything more.
“It’s all gone. Like it never existed. I can never go back.”
“No. No you can’t.” Dawn’s face jerked to hers, almost angry this time, angry and confused.
“But that’s okay. You have what’s important. You’ve got your memories. You’ve got the people that love you. You can start again.” Faith reached out a hand and took the long, slim fingers in her own, ”And it’ll be better this time, you can shape it, instead of letting it shape you.”
Dawn scanned her face for a while and then squeezed Faith’s hand. “I’ll still miss it.”
“No one said you wouldn’t. But it’ll get better, not easier, but better.”
“Thank you.”
“No prob.”
They sat together, fingers entwined until Giles stopped the bus at a truck stop.
Faith stood, giving her hand a final squeeze, and then made her way back to Robin to help him off the bus. She smiled when she heard Dawn answer Xander’s question of how she was holding up.
“Five by five.”
