watch me stumble, catch me when I fall

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Since I've gone and signed up for salt_burn_porn (EEEeee!!!), I figured I'd better test my writing out and see if it still worked.  I took a meme from the ever creative morrezela and I was off..

The Drill
1.  Write down the names of 12 characters.  The can be from the same show or a mix of shows.
2.  Open the meme.  You may now read the questions and my responses.
3.  Do your own with the list of 12 from step 1.

I stuck with all SPN.

1. Ellen 
2. Sam
3. Bobby
4. Jodi Mills
5. Victor Henriksen
6. Alistair
7. Chuck
8. Dean
9. Raphael
10. Ruby (makes no never mind to me which body you picture when you read)
11. Jo
12. Samuel "Grandpa" Campbell

WARNING:  There are some weird ass pairings in here.  Also, just pretend that the multi-verse theory is at work here…

1) If #8 was involved with both #7 and #4 how would #7 and #4 react when they found out about one another?  Dean with Chuck and Jodi.

Dean wasn’t sure what it was about Chuck, he supposed there was the brainy/geeky thing going on that reminded him so much of Sam. 

He knew what the deal was with Jodi.  Gorgeous, whip smart, didn’t let him get away with anything and could hold her own in any kind of fight.

If he could have prevented this moment from happening he would have.  Besides, shouldn’t Chuck know this shit? He was a prophet after all.

Chuck’s quiet, “Dean?” full of disbelief and hurt broke he and Jodi apart on the couch. 

Over by the door, Chuck was angry.  Silent.  Nothing but wounded eyes and crossed arms.

It took Jodi a second, but only just.  Then she was a whirlwind of rage.  Dean didn’t think he’d ever been slapped so hard in his life.    Sitting there on the sofa was the only thing he could do as he watched the two people who meant so much to him walk out the door one after the other.

2) #2 and #5 are saying their vows when the doors are thrown open and #11 marches in demanding that the ceremony stop because #11 is in love with #5 and cannot let them marry #2. Does #5 go back to #11 or stay with #2?  Sam and Henriksen, Jo interrupts.

Sam totally goes with Jo.  Because Jo knows that Sam and Victor have been cursed and she’s brought a voodoo priestess with her to undo it.  Both Sam and Victor are super awkward afterward and can barely look at each other.  It takes everything Sam has not to vomit right there. 

Sam thanks Jo profusely, and she confesses her love.  He’s even more awkward after that because like Dean he thinks of Jo as a pesky little sister.  She'll be forever 13 and in ponytails to him, no matter how old she gets.  Jo punches him hard in the gut when she realizes, and Sam does vomit.  Then she turns on one tiny foot and leaves Sam and Victor there in their little world of awkward.


3) #7 has a phobia that involves #1. What is the phobia?   Chuck, Ellen

Once, when he was having a particularly vivid "prophet attack" of Sam and Dean's shenanigans, he saw them at the Roadhouse playing pool in the back.  Not to hustle, just to chill and pass the time.  For some reason, his P.O.V. shifts and he's watching Ellen.  

She's standing just to the side of the rail, moving dirty glasses into a wash rack while keeping one eye on Jo who flits from one table full of hunters to another taking orders and delivering liquor.  There's one hunter that's particularly handsy with Jo on her rounds to his table.  She brushes him off each time, seeming unfazed.  But Chuck sees her mother get more and more cross as the evening goes on.  She eventually tells Jo to stop serving his table.  Jo rolls her eyes, but Chuck can also see the flash of relief that crosses her delicate features.  Realizing it's the only way he's going to get served, handsy goes to the bar and shouts his order at Ellen.  Ellen gives him a quick nod and pours his shot and gets his draft.  What happens when she delivers them happens so fast that all Chuck catches is the ear-piercing scream from the hunter.

Ellen gives a deadly smile, grabs him by the hair and brings him close, "You so much as breathe in my daughter's direction ever again and I'll put this in your balls next time."

When Ellen moves away, Chuck focuses on what she's done to the hunter.  A corkscrew pins his hand to the bartop, blood oozing out across the lacquered surface.

Chuck only purchases screwtop wine from then on.

4) #9 and #12 are having a movie marathon night. What movie does #9 pick and what movie does #12 pick? Is #12 happy with #9 pick and vice versa?  Raphael and Samuel Campbell

Raphael picks Constantine.  He really thinks Gabriel was on the right track; in fact, he’s sort of been using it as a model.  Samuel picks The Godfather.  It’s all about family after all.  They both expect the other’s to be crap.  They’re shocked when each of them is sucked in by each other’s movie.  Samuel is fascinated by Constantine’s methods and wants to get someone working on ideas immediately.  Raphael is also fascinated by the concept of family in The Godfather, but sees it as a guideline for how to keep his own unruly tribe under control.

 
5) #10 is in an unhappy relationship with #4 and realizes that he/she should be with #2 instead.  Ruby and Jodi; Sam

Ruby always feels like Jodi is giving her the 3rd degree.  It hasn’t been this bad since she was on the rack the first time down below. Plus, Jodi never wants to have sex anymore.  She’s always too busy being a small-town sheriff.  Ruby snorts and rolls her eyes.

Sam.  It suddenly hits her that she should be with Sam.  Tall, broad and filled with power and no place for it to go, let alone any inkling of how to use it.  She grins, writes  “C-ya babe” on the bathroom mirror in lipstick and heads out.

6) #3 is pregnant with #9 baby. How does #5 react?  Bobby and Raphael

Goddamn angels.  Bobby heaves himself up and starts rummaging through his books, looking for a…”cure.”  He sure as hell ain’t gonna be the incubator for whatever cockamamie scheme those feathered bastards have cooking now.

7) Does #3 handle commitments well? Bobby

He’s loyal. He’s not considered reliable by anyone not in the business—what, with being the town drunk and all.  But if you’re a hunter and you’re in a jam, there’s no one you’d rather have on your speed dial. 

If we’re talking love, Bobby fell in love with exactly one woman in his entire life.  Sure, he’s had feelings for others, any red-blooded male would, but love?  Commitment?  Wanting to spend the rest of his days with someone?  There’s only ever been one. 


8) If #12 suffered from a mental disorder what would that disorder be? Grandpa Campbell

Megalomania combined with sadism?  I dunno.  Does “sick fuck” show up in the DSM?

 
9) #1 sees #4 with #8 and knows that #8 is involved with #6. Does #1 tell #6 that #8 is cheating or does #6 deserve to find out on their own?  Ellen sees Jodi w/Dean. Dean is involved w/Alistair

>>okay, so I twisted this prompt a little because I just couldn’t make it work any other way<<

Ellen has to warn Jodi about Dean.  Jodi may think she knows about Dean and Alistair, but she doesn’t know the half of it.  Ellen knows that Alistair is keeping him like a pet dog.  And not even a well-kept one.  It’s a short leash he’s got Dean on, and much like a dog, Dean does whatever his Master says.  That only leaves one option: Dean must be using Jodi for a reason.  Jodi doesn’t deserve that.  No one deserves that.  She loves Dean, but the boy came back wrong.  And Alistair is the prick that twisted one of her boys into this disfigured and abused soul.  Jodi can’t be left to find that out on her own.

10) #11 is set up, by #10, on a blind date with #7. Does the date go smoothly, and has #11 decided that he/she wants to kill #10 before the date has ended?  Jo set up with Chuck by Ruby

Chuck wants to hate Ruby.  Knows that he should.  But Jo totally has the Madonna/whore thing going on, which is so up Chuck’s alley he’s hard within seconds of meeting her.  Jo takes longer to warm up.  He’s such a geek.  But he’s sort of adorable.  And he doesn’t freak or try to be all macho about her hunting—which he already knew about, so at least she doesn’t have to have THAT conversation.

Chuck kisses her on the cheek at the end of the night.  And Jo really does hope that he calls her tomorrow.

Chuck should hate Ruby.  But he can’t, she gave him Jo.

11) #2 and #3 have been dating for a year. Where does #2 choose to pop the question? Sam/Bobby

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little…I can’t do this one.  I honestly CAN NOT.

12) #9 wants to end their relationship with #5 . How does #9 choose to do so? Heartbroken #5 has a one night stand with #3.  Raphael/ Henriksen; Bobby

Okay, seriously???  I have got to do a better job of picking characters because…*bleh*  There are some people/characters who are het for me and that’s just the way it is…Bobby is one of those.  I can’t write a slash scene or even ponder it because I honestly just can’t even wrap my brain around it.


13) #11 and #12 married. How does #12 handle #11’s death?  Jo/Grandpa Campbell

Not well.  The worst part is Jo died because of this son-of-a-bitch called cancer.  Wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.  He’d already sold his soul for Mary, so he had nothing left to give for her.  All he could do was take her from one doctor to another and watch another bit of her get eaten away day by day. 

She got a proper hunter’s funeral of course.  Pyre, salt and all.  Then he drank for 3 days straight.  On the 4th day he took a shower, shaved and called his grandsons.  They didn’t answer.  He didn’t expect them to.  But there was a tiny part of him who wanted someone to know. 

Then he stuck the shotgun in his mouth and pulled the trigger.

14) If there was one thing #7could change about their life what would it be?  Chuck.

He would NOT be a fucking prophet of the lord, thank you very much.

15) If #5 could say anything to #10 what would they say?  Henriksen, Ruby

Go back to hell, you bitch.

16) A drunken #8 comes home and finds #1 in bed with #11. How does #8 react?  Dean, Ellen/Jo

Shocked and at first, reluctantly turned on.  Two hot chicks.  But hey!  That’s his…well, whatever him and Ellen are, and her DAUGHTER.  That’s incest!  Dean’s blood sparks at that.  So fucking wrong, so why does it make it that much hotter? 

He can’t decide whether to back out of the room or step in.  The decision is taken out of his hands when Ellen turns smoldering eyes on him and Jo turns to see what she’s looking at.  Then both of them are reaching for him and pulling him down…

17) Is a sweet love scene between #6 and #9 possible?  Alistair/Raphael

No.  That’s end of the world time right there.

18) #7 and #4 are bitter rivals. What made them rivals?  Chuck and Jodi

Did you read #1?

19) Is a happily ever after possible for #1 and #12?  Ellen and Grandpa Campbell

If the world were a different place.  But then, Mary wouldn’t have died, the YED wouldn’t have possessed Samuel, Mary wouldn’t have sold her soul, Samuel wouldn’t have been able to make a deal to get her soul out of hell, and he and Ellen never would have met.  Besides that, if the world were different Ellen’s husband wouldn’t have been killed and it’s all a moot point.

Beyond that, Samuel manipulated and used the only other people that Ellen ever loved like she loves her Jo.  She tried not to, but there’s just something about those Winchester boys.  Campbell’s betrayal is unforgiveable.

Different place or not, I guess the answer is no.


20) #4 undergoes a gender-swap. Who would he/she sleep with first? #6 or #5?  Jodi, Alistair or Henriksen

Jodi finds something…menacing and vaguely…oily about Alistair.  Her years as a sheriff have taught her to trust her gut.  There’s something not right about Alistair.  She’s not sure what, but she’s not going to be going near that man.  Ever.

Victor Henriksen.  Her cunt throbbed and her neck prickled the first time she saw him.  Her mouth dries up whenever he’s in the room.  He came to take over a statewide serial rape case that had made it to her county and now she sees him nearly every day.  She hasn’t felt this way since her husband died.  Woman or man, whatever body she was in, she’d take Victor down and ride him like a pony.

21) If #7 had to be stuck on an island with #2 or #3 which would #7 choose? Why?  Chuck, Sam or Bobby

Sam.  Bobby knows a shit-load about demons and ghosts and various other bugaboos, but he’s not exactly in tip top shape.  Sam has strength and stamina.  Plus he’d tan better.  And he probably knows how to chop things down and make things from the wood. He can also carry on a conversation better than Bobby.

22) #1 and #2 are romantically involved when #1’s original love, #11 returns from the dead. How does #1 handle the person's return?  Ellen/Sam,  Jo

>>Damn, Ellen/Jo is this meme’s OTP!<<

Ellen’s heart drops somewhere down around her feet when Jo walks through the Roadhouse doors.  She’d I.D.’d her daughter in a coroner’s office in Alama, Kentucky and brought her body back to the Roadhouse. She built the pyre by herself and carefully laid the salt across all parts of Jo, making her look as if she was just under some newly fallen snow.  Ellen watched her daughter’s body burn for the better part of 2 days before the last ember finally extinguished.

She invited all the hunters from near and far to the wake.  Sam and Dean had come, of course and it was Sam who wrapped her up and held her close even when she tried pushing him away.  Finally, she just gave up and sobbed into his broad shoulder.  Later, it was easy to walk into his room and ease the covers down and find solace in his body.

They’d been together 2 years now.  Sam still went hunting with Dean, but he always found his way back to her bar and her bed. He was a good man.

But her daughter was back.  Now, everything would change.  Jo was it for her.  And when she was gone, Ellen had just moved to something easy, something safe.  A few tests first, and if it really was her girl?  Then Jo would have her place back--in Ellen’s heart and bed, just like it should be.

23) #9 is forced to choose who will live between #3 and #6. Which one does #9 choose to live?  Raphael, Bobby or Alistair

Bobby.  Though it’s a tough call for Raphael.  And it’s only because he feels obligated not to choose a demon over a human.  What with those hairless apes being God’s “favorites” and all…but it's a close thing.  Also?  Alistair is no Crowley.

24) #7 falls in love with #8. When #7 gets the opportunity to be with #8 he/she is happy... until he/she finds out that #8 is only using him/her to get close to #2.  Chuck/Dean; Sam

>>Is it wrong that this is the only one that made me hum with happiness?<<

You’d think he’d know…being a prophet of the lord and all…but it blindsides him.  One day he sees Dean as he’s always seen him, knight in shining armor (okay, greaser in a ’67 Impala), sex on legs, marshmallow in a diamond coating.  And the next he sees beyond the dazzle.  He sees that Dean doesn’t look at him the way that Chuck had been hoping, had been dreaming, had been fooled into believing.  He looks at Sam that way.

He wouldn’t have known.  He never would have known.  If not for this shitty “gift” that that bastard God gave him.  One moment he’s looking across the table at Dean, laughing at some crude, yet hilarious escapade he went on in New Orleans one Mardi Gras, and then next he’s breathless, stunned, aching from the free-fall of truth that was slam-dunked into his brain. 

Dean was kissing Sam.  With a passion Chuck hadn’t seen before.  Clutching at him, fists full of clothes and hair, pulling, grappling, grinding, moaning.  And later, when they’re laying in bed together, the sweat still rolling off their bodies, Sam asks, “What about Chuck?”  And Dean answers, “Just wanted to prove something to you Sammy.”

Chuck makes it through the rest of the meal, but only barely.  Later, when Dean’s asleep he packs his bag and drives away, knowing that even though he’s leaving Dean behind he’ll always carry the Winchesters with him.  Whether he wants to or not.