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Building a Bridge
Oct. 7th, 2009 02:50 pmfor ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
spn_30snapshots table here: A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
Jensen's more aware of the differences between Dean and himself these days. Five years of character creation have birthed an individual and a personality distinct from Jensen's own. Dean is forward and in-your-face while Jensen is reserved and prefers to observe. Dean can't think of much beyond the day-to-day necessities of life and base urges, while Jensen has hobbies and interests and free-time. But there are some things that they have in common--things that Jensen brought to Dean early on and have stuck around, become ingrained in who Dean is as much as they are a part of Jensen.
Girls. Jensen's always been a big fan. He was a bit of a hound back in his Days of Our Lives run, and he knows that his preferences tend to run to girls that you wouldn't necessarily take home to mother. But he's always been much more discreet about it than Dean. He doesn't like to flout his conquests as much as Dean does--not at all in fact (hence Joanna’s parting)--and he's a bit more discriminating than Dean, but he's got to admit, they generally have the same tastes.
Coffee. The morning doesn't start unless there is some, 'nough said.
Pie. In both Dean and Jensen's book, pie is probably the best foodstuff ever created. So many varieties and flavors--you could have a different pie every day and never repeat yourself in a year. Mmmm, pie.
Best friends. Dean doesn't have any. But he's got Sam. And Sam = Jared. So there's that. Jensen's got Jared as much as Dean has Sam. At this point, losing Jared would be like losing a limb, only more painful as Jared's somehow managed to claim more than a bit of Jensen's heart with his big-as-an-ox-self.
And then there's the emotion. Dean likes to pretend that he's all big and bad and stoic, but he cries like a whipped puppy at the drop of a hat. Jensen doesn't do that. What Jensen DOES do, is get hurt. Emotionally. And then he withdraws. His insides shrivel and his chest tightens, and he WANTS to cry, but it's never been easy for him like it is for Dean. He feels as much as Dean does, and Dean feels as much as he does, but they express it differently.
Which brings him back to the subject of Sam and Jared. Jensen's intense emotional swings seem to be intrinsically tied to Jared in a way he can't quite explain. Much as Dean's are tied to Sam. Difference is, Jensen's acted on his emotions. Pressing Jared against walls so he can grind his hard cock into Jared's and breathe his breath. Dean's never done that with Sam. But Jensen knows he wants to. Because Jensen made him. And in as many ways as they’re different--in as many ways Dean is his own man and Jensen is another--in this way they are the same: Jensen can't help but want Jared and Dean can't help but want Sam.
spn_30snapshots table here: A Picture is Worth a Thousand WordsJensen's more aware of the differences between Dean and himself these days. Five years of character creation have birthed an individual and a personality distinct from Jensen's own. Dean is forward and in-your-face while Jensen is reserved and prefers to observe. Dean can't think of much beyond the day-to-day necessities of life and base urges, while Jensen has hobbies and interests and free-time. But there are some things that they have in common--things that Jensen brought to Dean early on and have stuck around, become ingrained in who Dean is as much as they are a part of Jensen.
Girls. Jensen's always been a big fan. He was a bit of a hound back in his Days of Our Lives run, and he knows that his preferences tend to run to girls that you wouldn't necessarily take home to mother. But he's always been much more discreet about it than Dean. He doesn't like to flout his conquests as much as Dean does--not at all in fact (hence Joanna’s parting)--and he's a bit more discriminating than Dean, but he's got to admit, they generally have the same tastes.
Coffee. The morning doesn't start unless there is some, 'nough said.
Pie. In both Dean and Jensen's book, pie is probably the best foodstuff ever created. So many varieties and flavors--you could have a different pie every day and never repeat yourself in a year. Mmmm, pie.
Best friends. Dean doesn't have any. But he's got Sam. And Sam = Jared. So there's that. Jensen's got Jared as much as Dean has Sam. At this point, losing Jared would be like losing a limb, only more painful as Jared's somehow managed to claim more than a bit of Jensen's heart with his big-as-an-ox-self.
And then there's the emotion. Dean likes to pretend that he's all big and bad and stoic, but he cries like a whipped puppy at the drop of a hat. Jensen doesn't do that. What Jensen DOES do, is get hurt. Emotionally. And then he withdraws. His insides shrivel and his chest tightens, and he WANTS to cry, but it's never been easy for him like it is for Dean. He feels as much as Dean does, and Dean feels as much as he does, but they express it differently.
Which brings him back to the subject of Sam and Jared. Jensen's intense emotional swings seem to be intrinsically tied to Jared in a way he can't quite explain. Much as Dean's are tied to Sam. Difference is, Jensen's acted on his emotions. Pressing Jared against walls so he can grind his hard cock into Jared's and breathe his breath. Dean's never done that with Sam. But Jensen knows he wants to. Because Jensen made him. And in as many ways as they’re different--in as many ways Dean is his own man and Jensen is another--in this way they are the same: Jensen can't help but want Jared and Dean can't help but want Sam.
