The Chapterhouse: Part Two
Jul. 8th, 2009 04:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
essene_backuppart one
It wasn’t until they were seated in the refectory and Jared was downing a much needed carafe of stimulant, with Jensen seated directly across from him that Jared felt he could trust himself to speak.
“What do we do now, Master?”
Jensen looked up from slathering ghee on his naan and fixed Jared with an appraising look as he set down his knife and took a bite. He chewed slowly, eyes never wavering from Jared’s face, even as Jared itched to turn from his gaze. The bore of Jensen's green-gold eyes made him feel exposed and juvinile.
After taking a swig from his own carafe Jensen said, “This afternoon we are going to use the holo-simulator as you are clearly not ready for the battleground training as yet. If you keep reenacting this morning's travesty, our rankings will never recover.” And he returned to eating.
That stung. Jared knew he'd performed poorly earlier, but really, it wasn’t all his fault. No one had warned him or prepared him for what happened during the battle training sessions. Anyone would have faltered under those circumstances, wouldn’t they? And this morning's training counted in the rankings? He closed his eyes and resisted the urge to grind his fist into Jensen's implacable expression.
He bit back an acerbic retort and instead asked, “Why did we go to the battle ground this morning instead of the holo-simulator, Master?”
Pausing in chewing his mouthful of naan, Jensen said, “Let’s call it a ‘trial by fire’, shall we?” Jared felt as though he was being burned by Jensen’s eyes, green fire licking over his skin.
A clatter and a wet pair of lips on his cheek jolted him out of his fixation with Jensen’s eyes, and he turned to see Chad grinning at him while stuffing torn pieces of naan into his mouth.
“Nice manners you’ve got there, Chad,” Jared said, suddenly feeling more comfortable and certain of his situation. Chad was familiar and provided ballast for Jared’s erratic emotions.
“Better than your battle skills, you behemoth. Thought you were going to get us all killed out there this morning,” Jared knew Chad was ribbing him because of the twinkle in his eye as he talked around the copious amount of naan he’d crammed in his mouth.
Jared grinned at him in response, “Fuck you. I’m a force to be reckoned with; don’t forget who it was that saved you from the bumbletoads back in the day. I’m fierce.”
“Chad!” The name sliced through the refectory causing bodies to still and voices to hush. Chad’s easy posture suddenly became ramrod straight and Jared saw a shiver course through his friend’s body.
Grabbing his tray, Chad scrambled to stand and rasped, “Gotta go, sorry,” before quickly striding away towards the place the voice had emanated from.
Jared’s gaze followed him to see what could make such an abrupt change in his forever-child-like friend. A thickly built man stood against the wall, one foot pressed back against it, arms crossed, foreboding look on his face. From where he sat, Jared could see ice-blue eyes, framed by long straw-colored locks. Chad stopped in front of him, first bowing his head and then shaking it at something the man. He then turned and placed his tray on the nearest cart before heading out an archway. Pushing off the wall, the straw-haired man shot a look of utter contempt their way and followed Chad out of the refectory.
Jared blinked. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen such undisguised hatred in another’s eyes. He turned to Jensen, who was placidly eating as though he’d seen nothing unusual.
“Who is that?” Jared asked.
“Who?” Jensen placidly asked as he scooped up poha with his last piece of naan.
“The guy who got Chad to move faster than I’ve ever seen in my life.”
Jensen drained his carafe of the last of his stimulant before answering, “Pedagogue Carlson. Steve. Though you’d do best to call him nothing and stay as far away as possible.”
This enigmatic answer only served to pique Jared’s curiosity even more, “Why? What’s the story?”
Jensen pushed away from the table and stood, “No story I’m willing to tell you.” He looked at Jared’s almost full tray. “You’re going to have to learn to eat and talk at the same time boy, or you’re going to starve. Let’s go, Posey.”
Jared’s eyes dropped to his tray and he grabbed the naan, shoving it all in his mouth at once and chewed it rapidly in between chugs of the stimulant remaining in his carafe.
“Helios!” A look of amazement mingled with disgust crossed Jensen’s face, “You’re a piece of work, Posey.”
Unable to help himself, Jared grinned at Jensen knowing that he’d be flashing half-chewed naan along with his teeth. Emitting a long suffering sigh, Jensen moved to place his tray on a cart and exited out of the refectory. Holding his tray close to his face, Jared shoveled in a few more mouthfuls of food before running to catch up with his Master.
********************
The first holo-simulator they passed in the dimly lit glass corridor was larger than any other Jared had ever been in. He assumed this was to accommodate whole regiments to train at once. Jensen kept moving down the passage, and they passed smaller simulators where Jared glimpsed pairs and quartets of people engaged in various training regimes. Jensen stopped at the first empty simulator and the door slid open at his vocalized command.
"We're going over this morning's battle again, Posey. I'm hoping this time you can do it better." He spoke as he made selections from the simulator's operating menu just inside the door.
Suddenly, they were surrounded by trees and there were menacing noises coming from deep in the wood. Jared's heartbeat picked up pace again, not from the sounds he was hearing, but from the knowledge of what he was about to be subjected to for the second time that day.
This time though, Jensen barked out stances and Jared rushed to meet his hands, feet, torso or whatever other body part was being proffered for connection. Unlike what had happened to Jared this morning though, Jensen seemed to suffer no ill after-effects from wielding his gift. They hit stance after stance from the Adamen together and although Jared was expecting to become unresponsive or suddenly panic, in a repeat of this morning's performance, it didn't happen.
They were at the end of the battle sequence now, and Jared was beginning to relax, almost enjoying the stretch and burn of his muscles as he arched and bowed and twisted to match Jensen's form with his own. This is what he had expected from training, this energized sense of well-being. He was reveling in it when Jensen began to wrench his arms away from Jared, breaking the pose they had been holding for more than thirty tics. Jared surveyed his companion and a rolling ball of uncertainty filled his gut as he saw stark terror in Jensen's eyes.
"What's going on? Who are you? Oh gods, what is this place?" Jared was struggling to hold on to Jensen as he thrashed and tried to wrench himself away from Jared's grip. What was wrong? Why was Jensen so suddenly disconnected from what they had been doing. And suddenly the peices clicked together. Jensen was suffering from somna; which meant that Jared was going to have to call him out of it.
Taking a deep breath Jared stepped forward and embraced Jensen tightly with one arm, and used his free hand to cup the back of Jensen's head and hold it still. He focused on Jensen's lips; full and slightly dry from their exertions, they looked soft and pliant, and Jared had discovered earlier that they felt good against his own. Keeping that memory in his mind, he bent his head and pressed his mouth against those lips. Jensen struggled briefly, but Jared was taller and stronger, and he held Jensen in place, pressing him tighter against his body.
Jared let himself feel it this time. If he admitted it to himself, that was the root of the problem this morning. His utter resistance to the situation and everything involved. The feeling of being forced to surrender, rather than asked to comply. But the tables were turned now and Jared was the one with the control.
Jensen's lips were full and flushed with blood against his own, and he could smell the warmth and musk of Jensen's body. It was a strange and intoxicating feeling to be the aggressor and it went to Jared's head. He opened his mouth and used his tongue to part Jensen's lips, demanding entrance to explore his mouth, to taste it, to make it his own. Jensen's mouth tasted like peppermint with a hint of salt, a flavor that was instantly addictive as far as Jared was concerned. Part of him couldn't believe he was doing this; couldn't believe he was willingly kissing another man--not just kissing him, but enjoying it, finding pleasure in it. But another part, a larger part, just wanted the moment to never end so he could go on feeling this light-headed sensation.
Jared knew he should stop when Jensen's embrace became more certain and he fisted a hand in Jared's hair and moved to slot their thighs together. It wasn't until Jensen began rubbing his groin against Jared's, pressing their stiff cocks together that Jared began to realize that this was going farther than he had intended. That he should pull back and end this kiss, that Jensen's somna was probably broken by now, but his aching cock, pressed tight and hard against the evidence of Jensen's own arousal didn't seem to get the message.
Eventually, the kiss ended, although Jared wasn't quite sure who ended it. He opened his eyes and found that he was standing with his Jensen's nape cradled in one hand and his other hand gripping Jensen's ass possessively. His mouth felt swollen and tender from the exchange and his cock was so hard he thought it might burst.
"Not bad, Posey." Jensen's words were sarcastic, but his voice was low and sensual.
Releasing his embrace, Jared stumbled backward, not trusting himself to respond. He didn't really want to put distance between them, but he felt it was what he was supposed to want. Still...he knew if he didn't, he'd embarrass himself further by coming all over Jensen's thigh.
********************
Jensen led Jared into a cloakroom in the vestibule of the chapel. Postulants and Pedagogues alike were disrobing from their battle gear and donning cream robes with a cowl. Everyone kept their eyes to the floor and was silent as they filed from the room and proceeded into the chapel. Jared's breath was taken away a bit by the chapel proper. The room was large with a domed ceiling. The walls were bare except for a series of brass candle sconces that cast a gold light on the dull, slate metallic sheen of the walls. The arches of the ceiling were outlined in ornate metal filigree that glittered in the candlelight. The floor was a patterned mosaic of brightly colored tile. He could make out the standard of Bevin on the tiles and the postulants spread out across the floor claiming one of the many brightly colored prayer mats as their own.
Jensen nudged Jared as he started to follow Jensen to the row of prayer mats at the front of the section. He pointed to the rows further back, indicating where Jared should go and then took his place at the front. They all stood silently and then with a murmur the Pedagogues began to hum a low note in unison. The note then broke into a minor harmonic chord that gave Jared a chill. It was beautiful. At that point Preceptor Morgan took his place at the front of the room, held both arms open to the celestial skies above him, then crossed his arms and lowered his head.
He began chanting in the ancient sacred language. This was the first time Jared had heard tones and syllables such as these. It was hypnotizing and he felt the stress from the day start to leave his body.
Preceptor Morgan fell silent, then fell to his knees. Jared and the rest of the room copied his actions and the time for silent meditation, contemplation and prayer began. In unison the congregation prostrated themselves on the floor and began their individual prayers.
Jared needed this time, needed to feel closer to his God. He needed Helios to comfort him and give him strength so he could adapt to these strange ways intermingled with familiar customs. He prayed for humility and courage, he prayed for greater understanding of Helios' plans for him and he prayed for strength and patience. He opened his heart and when his energy released, tears started falling from his eyes to the mat below him.
Jared was startled when the silence was broken and the low hum of chanting once more filled the room. He was blank, an empty and open vessel. He was surrendering and giving his will to Helios, and perhaps to Jensen. He felt a wave of energy start to move through the chapel, and he looked up to see Preceptor Morgan walking through the sanctuary. He carried a cream bloom by a long stem and was gently asperging each postulant, releasing them in succession from their poses. In a ripple of movement that swept across the room each postulant and pedagogue rolled up from the floor back onto their heels, then as one they stood at attention.
Preceptor Morgan had once more taken his place on the dais. And the congregants began to pray with him,
Oh Helios, whose voice we hear in the wind,
Whose breath gives life to all the world.
Hear us; we need your strength and wisdom.
Let us walk in beauty, and make my eyes ever behold your creation
Make our hands respect the things you have made and our ears sharp to hear your voice
Make us wise so that we may understand the things you have taught our people.
Help us to remain calm and strong in the face of all that comes towards us.
Let us learn the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock.
Help us seek pure thoughts and act with the intention of helping others.
Help us find compassion without empathy overwhelming us.
We seek strength, not to be greater than our brother, but to fight our greatest enemy
Ourselves.
Make us always ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset, our spirits may come to you without shame.
When Jared raised his head he was startled to see Preceptor Morgan step down from his place and kiss Pedagogue Rosenbaum who then turned to his neighbor and kissed him.
Jared stiffened as he realized what was expected of him. He was not going to be the one to break the mood in the chapel, but he was thankful it was an unfamiliar monk next turning to him for a kiss. He dryly pressed his lips to the monk’s and breathed in a bit of his scent. The peace from the service had centered him and perhaps habituated him a bit so that he might perform the expected responses. However there was still something to it all that felt wrong. Intellectually he understood that to properly serve Helios, his God was asking him to expand beyond his terrestrial ways. Still, he wondered if the peace in his heart was a result of embracing his purpose, or if it was instead a result of the calm of the service.
Jared looked around, trying to find Jensen, as the celebrants started to file out of the chamber. Jensen caught his eye and motioned for him to follow as he passed through the doors of the vestibule.
********************
Jensen wondered about Jared's thoughts when they returned to their room after Vespers. He'd been quiet all through supper and continued with his silence even after their service in the Chapel had finished. He decided to abandon decorum and just ask, "What's going on in that head of yours, Posey?"
Jared stopped in the center of their quarters and slowly turned to face him. Instead of answering he just looked at Jensen, confusion plain in his eyes and slowly shook his head.
For what had to be the fiftieth time today, Jensen invaded Jared's personal space. "You don't get to have secrets. Not from me. Not when you know what's at stake." He moved his hand to Jared's unruly locks and placed his thumb at the temple and his fingers in the soft spot at the nape of Jared's neck. "Tell me, or I go looking for it." Jensen saw the anger flash through Jared's gold-tinged eyes, making them go dark as his jaw clenched.
"I'm just trying to make sense of everything that's passed today. And I'm beginning to wonder if I'm ever going to get any time to myself, especially considering there's one sleeping unit and one cleansing unit." His jaw clenched even tighter with this last admission.
Jensen couldn't stop the wolfish grin that crossed his face; Jared was making it all too easy for him. He relished his postulant’s obvious discomfort with the situation. If Jensen were a better man, a better knight, he might feel a tinge of guilt for the pleasure he was taking in stringing Jared along, but he wasn't. What he was though, was compassionate.
But he couldn't let Jared know that. Not yet.
"Excellent observation, Posey," Jensen responded sarcastically. "We do everything together. We train together, pray together, eat together, sleep together--we do everything except defecate together, and even then I may reconsider allowing you any privacy at all if today's debacle on the field is anything to judge by."
He moved swiftly forward and pressed his chest firmly to Jared's, groins and thighs aligned, feet on either side of the taller man's. His arms slid up Jared's sides and hooked around his shoulders keeping them firmly pressed together in spite of Jared's efforts to twist away.
Looking directly into Jared's panicked and furious eyes he said, "You will get used to me touching you, and you will become accustomed to touching me. I gave my soul to Helios, but my body is my own, and I will not have you putting it at risk because of your backwater notions of what's right and wrong. This is how it works. This is how Helios made it work. Are you going to question our God?" He fairly growled this last question, daring Jared to deny the authority of their deity.
Jared's eyes closed and his head bowed as he slowly shook it back and forth. Jensen could feel the hammering of his heart as Jared inhaled deeply and slowly exhaled--apparently trying to rein in his emotions.
"I do not question Helios. I question us--humanity. I question why the order kept this..." his words trailed off for a moment, "...secret. If this is the way it's to be, if this is what Helios has ordained, why not share it with all?"
Jensen squelched his desire to give succor to his postulant. His place was to teach, to train, to guide, not to...he couldn't afford to travel that path again.
"There are many reasons that Helios chose not to reveal this to all. Not the least of which is that the majority of the terrestrials aren't ready for it. Too many of them are still struggling with the way they currently live their lives. This has been the way of the Knights Bevian for millennia, but for it to be common knowledge would be disastrous on the battlefield. Surely even such a dense boy as you can see that. There are many things you will learn that will challenge everything you've ever known. This is merely the first."
Jensen scanned Jared's face for some sign of understanding, but soft brown hair had fallen down to veil his expression. Jared's ribcage expanded against Jensen as he took another settling breath. Jensen took the opportunity to test Jared's reactions and swiftly pressed his lips to Jared's slightly parted ones.
Jared resisted, every muscle in his body stiffening, but to his credit, he didn't pull away. Jensen slid the tip of his tongue across Jared's lips before releasing him and stepping away.
"You WILL become accustomed to me and your fellow Bevians. To that end, you will greet any Bevian you meet with a kiss. You will do the same with me. In addition, you will not leave my presence without a kiss. We must work together as one, you must recognize me as a part of you, and that can never happen until you accept my touch as your own."
Removing his training gear and placing his undergarments in the cleansing chute, Jensen swiftly grasped Jared’s head and pulled him down to brush their lips together, keeping them close as he said, "You will join me in cleansing in the next 60 tics, or you will spend the rest of the night in the Chapterhouse scullery assisting in preparation for morning meal, to be followed by our regular daily regime."
He pressed the button to the unit and stepped inside, letting the steam envelop him--his stone-still postulant blinking rapidly behind him.
********************
Part 3
It wasn’t until they were seated in the refectory and Jared was downing a much needed carafe of stimulant, with Jensen seated directly across from him that Jared felt he could trust himself to speak.
“What do we do now, Master?”
Jensen looked up from slathering ghee on his naan and fixed Jared with an appraising look as he set down his knife and took a bite. He chewed slowly, eyes never wavering from Jared’s face, even as Jared itched to turn from his gaze. The bore of Jensen's green-gold eyes made him feel exposed and juvinile.
After taking a swig from his own carafe Jensen said, “This afternoon we are going to use the holo-simulator as you are clearly not ready for the battleground training as yet. If you keep reenacting this morning's travesty, our rankings will never recover.” And he returned to eating.
That stung. Jared knew he'd performed poorly earlier, but really, it wasn’t all his fault. No one had warned him or prepared him for what happened during the battle training sessions. Anyone would have faltered under those circumstances, wouldn’t they? And this morning's training counted in the rankings? He closed his eyes and resisted the urge to grind his fist into Jensen's implacable expression.
He bit back an acerbic retort and instead asked, “Why did we go to the battle ground this morning instead of the holo-simulator, Master?”
Pausing in chewing his mouthful of naan, Jensen said, “Let’s call it a ‘trial by fire’, shall we?” Jared felt as though he was being burned by Jensen’s eyes, green fire licking over his skin.
A clatter and a wet pair of lips on his cheek jolted him out of his fixation with Jensen’s eyes, and he turned to see Chad grinning at him while stuffing torn pieces of naan into his mouth.
“Nice manners you’ve got there, Chad,” Jared said, suddenly feeling more comfortable and certain of his situation. Chad was familiar and provided ballast for Jared’s erratic emotions.
“Better than your battle skills, you behemoth. Thought you were going to get us all killed out there this morning,” Jared knew Chad was ribbing him because of the twinkle in his eye as he talked around the copious amount of naan he’d crammed in his mouth.
Jared grinned at him in response, “Fuck you. I’m a force to be reckoned with; don’t forget who it was that saved you from the bumbletoads back in the day. I’m fierce.”
“Chad!” The name sliced through the refectory causing bodies to still and voices to hush. Chad’s easy posture suddenly became ramrod straight and Jared saw a shiver course through his friend’s body.
Grabbing his tray, Chad scrambled to stand and rasped, “Gotta go, sorry,” before quickly striding away towards the place the voice had emanated from.
Jared’s gaze followed him to see what could make such an abrupt change in his forever-child-like friend. A thickly built man stood against the wall, one foot pressed back against it, arms crossed, foreboding look on his face. From where he sat, Jared could see ice-blue eyes, framed by long straw-colored locks. Chad stopped in front of him, first bowing his head and then shaking it at something the man. He then turned and placed his tray on the nearest cart before heading out an archway. Pushing off the wall, the straw-haired man shot a look of utter contempt their way and followed Chad out of the refectory.
Jared blinked. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen such undisguised hatred in another’s eyes. He turned to Jensen, who was placidly eating as though he’d seen nothing unusual.
“Who is that?” Jared asked.
“Who?” Jensen placidly asked as he scooped up poha with his last piece of naan.
“The guy who got Chad to move faster than I’ve ever seen in my life.”
Jensen drained his carafe of the last of his stimulant before answering, “Pedagogue Carlson. Steve. Though you’d do best to call him nothing and stay as far away as possible.”
This enigmatic answer only served to pique Jared’s curiosity even more, “Why? What’s the story?”
Jensen pushed away from the table and stood, “No story I’m willing to tell you.” He looked at Jared’s almost full tray. “You’re going to have to learn to eat and talk at the same time boy, or you’re going to starve. Let’s go, Posey.”
Jared’s eyes dropped to his tray and he grabbed the naan, shoving it all in his mouth at once and chewed it rapidly in between chugs of the stimulant remaining in his carafe.
“Helios!” A look of amazement mingled with disgust crossed Jensen’s face, “You’re a piece of work, Posey.”
Unable to help himself, Jared grinned at Jensen knowing that he’d be flashing half-chewed naan along with his teeth. Emitting a long suffering sigh, Jensen moved to place his tray on a cart and exited out of the refectory. Holding his tray close to his face, Jared shoveled in a few more mouthfuls of food before running to catch up with his Master.
The first holo-simulator they passed in the dimly lit glass corridor was larger than any other Jared had ever been in. He assumed this was to accommodate whole regiments to train at once. Jensen kept moving down the passage, and they passed smaller simulators where Jared glimpsed pairs and quartets of people engaged in various training regimes. Jensen stopped at the first empty simulator and the door slid open at his vocalized command.
"We're going over this morning's battle again, Posey. I'm hoping this time you can do it better." He spoke as he made selections from the simulator's operating menu just inside the door.
Suddenly, they were surrounded by trees and there were menacing noises coming from deep in the wood. Jared's heartbeat picked up pace again, not from the sounds he was hearing, but from the knowledge of what he was about to be subjected to for the second time that day.
This time though, Jensen barked out stances and Jared rushed to meet his hands, feet, torso or whatever other body part was being proffered for connection. Unlike what had happened to Jared this morning though, Jensen seemed to suffer no ill after-effects from wielding his gift. They hit stance after stance from the Adamen together and although Jared was expecting to become unresponsive or suddenly panic, in a repeat of this morning's performance, it didn't happen.
They were at the end of the battle sequence now, and Jared was beginning to relax, almost enjoying the stretch and burn of his muscles as he arched and bowed and twisted to match Jensen's form with his own. This is what he had expected from training, this energized sense of well-being. He was reveling in it when Jensen began to wrench his arms away from Jared, breaking the pose they had been holding for more than thirty tics. Jared surveyed his companion and a rolling ball of uncertainty filled his gut as he saw stark terror in Jensen's eyes.
"What's going on? Who are you? Oh gods, what is this place?" Jared was struggling to hold on to Jensen as he thrashed and tried to wrench himself away from Jared's grip. What was wrong? Why was Jensen so suddenly disconnected from what they had been doing. And suddenly the peices clicked together. Jensen was suffering from somna; which meant that Jared was going to have to call him out of it.
Taking a deep breath Jared stepped forward and embraced Jensen tightly with one arm, and used his free hand to cup the back of Jensen's head and hold it still. He focused on Jensen's lips; full and slightly dry from their exertions, they looked soft and pliant, and Jared had discovered earlier that they felt good against his own. Keeping that memory in his mind, he bent his head and pressed his mouth against those lips. Jensen struggled briefly, but Jared was taller and stronger, and he held Jensen in place, pressing him tighter against his body.
Jared let himself feel it this time. If he admitted it to himself, that was the root of the problem this morning. His utter resistance to the situation and everything involved. The feeling of being forced to surrender, rather than asked to comply. But the tables were turned now and Jared was the one with the control.
Jensen's lips were full and flushed with blood against his own, and he could smell the warmth and musk of Jensen's body. It was a strange and intoxicating feeling to be the aggressor and it went to Jared's head. He opened his mouth and used his tongue to part Jensen's lips, demanding entrance to explore his mouth, to taste it, to make it his own. Jensen's mouth tasted like peppermint with a hint of salt, a flavor that was instantly addictive as far as Jared was concerned. Part of him couldn't believe he was doing this; couldn't believe he was willingly kissing another man--not just kissing him, but enjoying it, finding pleasure in it. But another part, a larger part, just wanted the moment to never end so he could go on feeling this light-headed sensation.
Jared knew he should stop when Jensen's embrace became more certain and he fisted a hand in Jared's hair and moved to slot their thighs together. It wasn't until Jensen began rubbing his groin against Jared's, pressing their stiff cocks together that Jared began to realize that this was going farther than he had intended. That he should pull back and end this kiss, that Jensen's somna was probably broken by now, but his aching cock, pressed tight and hard against the evidence of Jensen's own arousal didn't seem to get the message.
Eventually, the kiss ended, although Jared wasn't quite sure who ended it. He opened his eyes and found that he was standing with his Jensen's nape cradled in one hand and his other hand gripping Jensen's ass possessively. His mouth felt swollen and tender from the exchange and his cock was so hard he thought it might burst.
"Not bad, Posey." Jensen's words were sarcastic, but his voice was low and sensual.
Releasing his embrace, Jared stumbled backward, not trusting himself to respond. He didn't really want to put distance between them, but he felt it was what he was supposed to want. Still...he knew if he didn't, he'd embarrass himself further by coming all over Jensen's thigh.
Jensen led Jared into a cloakroom in the vestibule of the chapel. Postulants and Pedagogues alike were disrobing from their battle gear and donning cream robes with a cowl. Everyone kept their eyes to the floor and was silent as they filed from the room and proceeded into the chapel. Jared's breath was taken away a bit by the chapel proper. The room was large with a domed ceiling. The walls were bare except for a series of brass candle sconces that cast a gold light on the dull, slate metallic sheen of the walls. The arches of the ceiling were outlined in ornate metal filigree that glittered in the candlelight. The floor was a patterned mosaic of brightly colored tile. He could make out the standard of Bevin on the tiles and the postulants spread out across the floor claiming one of the many brightly colored prayer mats as their own.
Jensen nudged Jared as he started to follow Jensen to the row of prayer mats at the front of the section. He pointed to the rows further back, indicating where Jared should go and then took his place at the front. They all stood silently and then with a murmur the Pedagogues began to hum a low note in unison. The note then broke into a minor harmonic chord that gave Jared a chill. It was beautiful. At that point Preceptor Morgan took his place at the front of the room, held both arms open to the celestial skies above him, then crossed his arms and lowered his head.
He began chanting in the ancient sacred language. This was the first time Jared had heard tones and syllables such as these. It was hypnotizing and he felt the stress from the day start to leave his body.
Preceptor Morgan fell silent, then fell to his knees. Jared and the rest of the room copied his actions and the time for silent meditation, contemplation and prayer began. In unison the congregation prostrated themselves on the floor and began their individual prayers.
Jared needed this time, needed to feel closer to his God. He needed Helios to comfort him and give him strength so he could adapt to these strange ways intermingled with familiar customs. He prayed for humility and courage, he prayed for greater understanding of Helios' plans for him and he prayed for strength and patience. He opened his heart and when his energy released, tears started falling from his eyes to the mat below him.
Jared was startled when the silence was broken and the low hum of chanting once more filled the room. He was blank, an empty and open vessel. He was surrendering and giving his will to Helios, and perhaps to Jensen. He felt a wave of energy start to move through the chapel, and he looked up to see Preceptor Morgan walking through the sanctuary. He carried a cream bloom by a long stem and was gently asperging each postulant, releasing them in succession from their poses. In a ripple of movement that swept across the room each postulant and pedagogue rolled up from the floor back onto their heels, then as one they stood at attention.
Preceptor Morgan had once more taken his place on the dais. And the congregants began to pray with him,
Oh Helios, whose voice we hear in the wind,
Whose breath gives life to all the world.
Hear us; we need your strength and wisdom.
Let us walk in beauty, and make my eyes ever behold your creation
Make our hands respect the things you have made and our ears sharp to hear your voice
Make us wise so that we may understand the things you have taught our people.
Help us to remain calm and strong in the face of all that comes towards us.
Let us learn the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock.
Help us seek pure thoughts and act with the intention of helping others.
Help us find compassion without empathy overwhelming us.
We seek strength, not to be greater than our brother, but to fight our greatest enemy
Ourselves.
Make us always ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset, our spirits may come to you without shame.
When Jared raised his head he was startled to see Preceptor Morgan step down from his place and kiss Pedagogue Rosenbaum who then turned to his neighbor and kissed him.
Jared stiffened as he realized what was expected of him. He was not going to be the one to break the mood in the chapel, but he was thankful it was an unfamiliar monk next turning to him for a kiss. He dryly pressed his lips to the monk’s and breathed in a bit of his scent. The peace from the service had centered him and perhaps habituated him a bit so that he might perform the expected responses. However there was still something to it all that felt wrong. Intellectually he understood that to properly serve Helios, his God was asking him to expand beyond his terrestrial ways. Still, he wondered if the peace in his heart was a result of embracing his purpose, or if it was instead a result of the calm of the service.
Jared looked around, trying to find Jensen, as the celebrants started to file out of the chamber. Jensen caught his eye and motioned for him to follow as he passed through the doors of the vestibule.
Jensen wondered about Jared's thoughts when they returned to their room after Vespers. He'd been quiet all through supper and continued with his silence even after their service in the Chapel had finished. He decided to abandon decorum and just ask, "What's going on in that head of yours, Posey?"
Jared stopped in the center of their quarters and slowly turned to face him. Instead of answering he just looked at Jensen, confusion plain in his eyes and slowly shook his head.
For what had to be the fiftieth time today, Jensen invaded Jared's personal space. "You don't get to have secrets. Not from me. Not when you know what's at stake." He moved his hand to Jared's unruly locks and placed his thumb at the temple and his fingers in the soft spot at the nape of Jared's neck. "Tell me, or I go looking for it." Jensen saw the anger flash through Jared's gold-tinged eyes, making them go dark as his jaw clenched.
"I'm just trying to make sense of everything that's passed today. And I'm beginning to wonder if I'm ever going to get any time to myself, especially considering there's one sleeping unit and one cleansing unit." His jaw clenched even tighter with this last admission.
Jensen couldn't stop the wolfish grin that crossed his face; Jared was making it all too easy for him. He relished his postulant’s obvious discomfort with the situation. If Jensen were a better man, a better knight, he might feel a tinge of guilt for the pleasure he was taking in stringing Jared along, but he wasn't. What he was though, was compassionate.
But he couldn't let Jared know that. Not yet.
"Excellent observation, Posey," Jensen responded sarcastically. "We do everything together. We train together, pray together, eat together, sleep together--we do everything except defecate together, and even then I may reconsider allowing you any privacy at all if today's debacle on the field is anything to judge by."
He moved swiftly forward and pressed his chest firmly to Jared's, groins and thighs aligned, feet on either side of the taller man's. His arms slid up Jared's sides and hooked around his shoulders keeping them firmly pressed together in spite of Jared's efforts to twist away.
Looking directly into Jared's panicked and furious eyes he said, "You will get used to me touching you, and you will become accustomed to touching me. I gave my soul to Helios, but my body is my own, and I will not have you putting it at risk because of your backwater notions of what's right and wrong. This is how it works. This is how Helios made it work. Are you going to question our God?" He fairly growled this last question, daring Jared to deny the authority of their deity.
Jared's eyes closed and his head bowed as he slowly shook it back and forth. Jensen could feel the hammering of his heart as Jared inhaled deeply and slowly exhaled--apparently trying to rein in his emotions.
"I do not question Helios. I question us--humanity. I question why the order kept this..." his words trailed off for a moment, "...secret. If this is the way it's to be, if this is what Helios has ordained, why not share it with all?"
Jensen squelched his desire to give succor to his postulant. His place was to teach, to train, to guide, not to...he couldn't afford to travel that path again.
"There are many reasons that Helios chose not to reveal this to all. Not the least of which is that the majority of the terrestrials aren't ready for it. Too many of them are still struggling with the way they currently live their lives. This has been the way of the Knights Bevian for millennia, but for it to be common knowledge would be disastrous on the battlefield. Surely even such a dense boy as you can see that. There are many things you will learn that will challenge everything you've ever known. This is merely the first."
Jensen scanned Jared's face for some sign of understanding, but soft brown hair had fallen down to veil his expression. Jared's ribcage expanded against Jensen as he took another settling breath. Jensen took the opportunity to test Jared's reactions and swiftly pressed his lips to Jared's slightly parted ones.
Jared resisted, every muscle in his body stiffening, but to his credit, he didn't pull away. Jensen slid the tip of his tongue across Jared's lips before releasing him and stepping away.
"You WILL become accustomed to me and your fellow Bevians. To that end, you will greet any Bevian you meet with a kiss. You will do the same with me. In addition, you will not leave my presence without a kiss. We must work together as one, you must recognize me as a part of you, and that can never happen until you accept my touch as your own."
Removing his training gear and placing his undergarments in the cleansing chute, Jensen swiftly grasped Jared’s head and pulled him down to brush their lips together, keeping them close as he said, "You will join me in cleansing in the next 60 tics, or you will spend the rest of the night in the Chapterhouse scullery assisting in preparation for morning meal, to be followed by our regular daily regime."
He pressed the button to the unit and stepped inside, letting the steam envelop him--his stone-still postulant blinking rapidly behind him.
Part 3
